One Day at a Time - August 23, 2009

Monday I arrived at my film shoot with the intent of being there early, finishing quickly, and having plenty of time before my performance that evening. I learned upon arrival that they didn’t plan to film my scene until after seven o’clock that evening – and I had call for the Pirates of Penzance at 6:15 in Salt Lake. After talking amongst themselves, they (the director & producer) decided to simply find someone else to fill my role. They asked if they could use the costume I had brought even though I wouldn’t have the role. I don’t think I’ve felt that expendable in a long time… The director felt bad about my not having a role, so she offered to let me play the part of the doctor (he had dropped out for some reason) – which is actually a larger part. On Friday we filmed that scene. Now that’s done – no more film practices and no more film shoots.

Wednesday my brother flew into town – he starts school this next week at BYU and wanted to find a place to stay. He is also doing a program called Late Summer Honors – where you get a credit for about a week straight of class. We attended a concert by our cousin Dallyn Bayles at BYU Education Week… and I realized (after Dallyn asked me if I was going to go the performing route) that I’ve been spending a lot of time performing in the last little while. Dallyn studied Music/Dance/Theater at BYU and then went to Broadway. He now tours with the national tour of the Phantom of the Opera. I’ve never really had the desire to be a famous Broadway performer, but I started looking at how much time I had been spending on stage. Hours of musical practice, performances three times a week, a role in a film… Truthfully, I don’t really think of myself as a diehard performer. I didn’t allow myself time to perform much while I was at BYU because I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do. This is the last week of Pirates of Penzance; as of now, I’m not sure how much of my life I’m going to dedicate to performing after the run ends on Saturday. Maybe some, maybe a lot, maybe almost none at all.

I started applying for part-time jobs in teaching physics this week… and then I realized that teaching physics didn’t feel very compelling. I wasn’t looking forward to creating a curriculum, and, even though I wish I had a classroom of students to teach, it doesn’t feel like the right choice for right now. And so I’m back at square one. I’m not sure if I’m going to have another job in addition to my work at the MTC. We’ll see what happens as time progresses.

My family came into town on Thursday so they could see me in Pirates and also for my cousin’s wedding. I’m really glad they were able to come – since it wasn’t a scheduled vacation, we’ve had much more time to talk (even though I’ve still been busy) and I’ve enjoyed spending time with each of my family members. They decided to stay an extra day before driving back, and in the meantime we are learning more about possible routes to take for fighting my sister’s cancer. Friday night much of my extended family attended Pirates of Penzance, along with a bunch of friends – we had over 75 seats in the theater!

And then Saturday was my cousin’s wedding in Salt Lake. It was an amazing experience – and I can’t help but feel a little bit left out. She’s the first grandchild to be married, and my uncle (who is a bit younger than I am) is getting married in November. I, on the other hand, am not seriously dating anyone. I have no clue when I’ll be married. But, looking back at the events in my life, I’m prompted to feel that I’m ok. The Lord has taken care of me in the past, and He will continue to take care of me in the future. Just because I don’t know what is going to happen with choosing a graduate school, finding another job, dating, performing, or anything else doesn’t mean anything. I can still live each day and do what is right. And I know that He will bless me for my efforts.

The Lord gave the counsel that each day is sufficient to the evil thereof. I would really like to know what is going to happen in my life in the next few weeks, months, and years. The Lord has kindly shown me that every plan I’ve made has been inadequate and my prayers for direction are answered with the vague, “Be patient. Act now.” But I know that the Lord is involved in my life.

Each of us has times where we don’t know what is going to happen in the near or distant future. We wonder what pathways to prepare for – which way we will go when we arrive at the fork in the road. Sometimes, the Lord sees fit to give us a vision of our path – to inspire us and let us know the conditions ahead. And sometimes He sees fit to let us walk by faith – moving forward in the darkness with the simple assurance that He is at our side and will not let us fall. I know that God is with us, and that, if we will turn to Him, He will guide us in all our paths. And, when the time comes, He will open doors we never thought possible to make us into men and women better than we could have ever dreamed.